Empty Warmth
by BrokenWings66
Summary: Sequel to Did I Want to Die. PLEASE read that before this story if this story is going to make any sense. Natsu's view of events before but mainly after Lucy's incident.
1. Chapter 1

**Sequel to Did I Want to Die? PLEASE read that before this!**

**Also, listen to My Immortal by Evanescence over and over again while reading this.**

**Don't ask questions and just do it!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail (duh)**

"Leave him be, he just lost his sister. This is a lot to handle."

"I know, but he hasn't eaten anything for two days. The only time he leaves his room is when he needs to go the bathroom or get a drink of water."

"Come now, Layla and Igneel are both in similar states as Natsu. The shock is too great. It was a wise choice for us to look after Natsu for the time being. Neither of them is in any condition to take proper care of Natsu. I even worry about their health."

"Sigh, I understand what you're saying Grandeeny, but he should at least eat something. We're all mourning Lucy's death."

Natsu ignored the conversation happening outside his door.

His head hurt and his body felt numb. His mind was completely blank. Natsu wasn't even aware he hasn't eaten in two days. The only thing he felt was disbelief and sorrow.

"Lucy," he whispered.

**NATSU'S POV**

I can't feel anything. My head hurts, my eyes are wet, and I want my sister.

When she didn't come home that night, mom started to worry and called the police. The search went on for five days.

Five days.

Kids at school were no help.

They caught wind of Lucy going missing, and they just laughed it off. That's when the nasty comments started. They started mocking and insulting her. I couldn't stand it. I actually went up and punched one of my best friends because they were making fun of her.

I left class, not caring about school. But, not before I said what needed to be said.

"Don't you dare insult my sister."

That was the night the police came and told us they found a body. A body that looked like Lucy's.

My father had come home the night before and the three of us rushed to the hospital morgue, and sure enough, there lied my sister.

Gray.

Cold.

Not breathing.

I slowly walked towards her while my mother collapsed and burst into tears.

"It can't be," I had whispered. "No, it's not!" I walked over and shook her cold body. "That's not sis!" I yelled. "Wake up! T-this isn't funny. Wake up, WAKE UP!"

I was held down by security. None the less, I struggled. I struggled to the body of the person I never said I love you to.

Tears started to fall from my face again. My memory kept on going back to her.

I imagined her smile. So bright and cheerful. She would be sitting right next to me, commenting on how spiky and punkie my hair looked like. She would pounce on me and try to smother my hair down, but it would stick right back up naturally. She would laugh and give me a big hug.

"Oh Natsu," she would remark, "My stupid and utterly adorable little brother. I will love you forever."

Why did she leave? Why did she die?

The darkness of the room loomed around like night.

Ah, I used to be scared of the dark right?

I was crying one night.

I saw all these scary monsters around me, calling my name. Then Lucy came in, her hair shining like a light bulb. She ran to me and hugged me tight. I cried into her shirt, soaking in the warmth of her body.

"It's alright Natsu, I'm here. Nothing will hurt you."

"I will always be here, right by your side." I curled into a ball.

Where are you now?

You said you'd be there forever, so why did you leave me!?

"Why did you go!?" I screamed while tears streamed from my eyes. I didn't hold my voice back.

My aunt Grandeeny came rushing and hugged me, but it wasn't the same.

The warmth wasn't the same.

It wasn't Lucy's.

And now I can never feel that warmth again.


	2. Chapter 2

It was raining.

It was as if the world was mourning the loss as well.

I cried as I carried the casket holding the person dearest to me.

So close, yet forever unreachable.

The kids were there too. Romeo and Wendy I think it was. They were crying and wailing. They didn't have umbrellas but I don't think they noticed.

Many people were here. A lot from school.

I hated that. They didn't even know her, so why are they here? They never even bothered to know her, so why are they here?

I barely realized we reached the podium. With the help of my father, Levy and my mother, we placed the coffin holding Lucy onto the stand surrounded by flowers.

The priest spoke, but I didn't hear anything. I was too numb to hear anything.

Today is April 26, the day of Lucy's funeral.

No eulogies were spoken because I know that if I tried, I would just cry harder than I already was.

She was gone. Truly gone, and nothing I could do would bring her back.

After most of the people left, my mother and father sat in the front row of the church and cried softly to themselves.

I went up to Lucy's coffin, and feel to my knees, resting my head on the lid where a picture of her smiling stood. I cried, my tears not yet exhausted.

Levy knelt beside me, joining in on my tears with her own.

"She was only sixteen," I whispered.

"I know," replied Levy.

"She was one of the brightest people to exist."

"I know."

"She was the best friend and sister ever."

"I know."

"She shouldn't be dead."

"I know."

We both cried before the coffin, hoping our tears would revive Lucy and she would pop out, smiling.

We cried and cried.

_Flashback_

"_Natsu, your birthday is on the second of May, right?"_

_I turned around to see Lucy in my room staring at my calendar. Again._

"_Oi, you should know this. Your my sister, and get out of my room."_

"_What do you want for your birthday?"_

"_I said get out of my room."_

"_Some new underwear? Oh I know! How about a lizard onesie!"_

"_Hell no."_

_She pouted. "Then what do you want?"_

_I sighed. "If I tell you what I want, will you leave my room?"_

_She nodded eagerly._

"_I want a huge meat platter with beef, lamb, chicken, pork and duck. All arranged as a flame."_

_Silence._

"_Are you joking?"_

_I shook my head, my face heating up a little._

"_Ha, hahahahahaha! That's so like you Natsu," Lucy rolled around laughing. "Arranged as a flame? Hahahahahahaha! Oo, I'm crying!"_

_I became pissed. "Got a problem with what I want? Anyways, what are you still doing in my room?"_

_Lucy eventually stopped laughing and stood up and walked to me. She jumped on me and gave me a big hug. _

"_Nope!" she said cheerfully. "I will make you the largest and awesomest meat platter with beef, lamb, chicken, pork and lamb arranged as a flame ever!"_

_She skipped out of my room._

"_The hell?" I said. "Isn't she horrible at cooking?"_

_End of Flashback_

I bawled at the memory.

I would give anything for a taste of her burnt meat platter she will never be able to make.

I stood up and left Levy crying over her best friend. I walked over to Wendy and Romeo, still crying, their parents talking at the entrance.

I crouched down to their level. "Are you guys Wendy and Romeo?"

They looked at me with their puffy red eyes and slowly nodded.

I gave them a small smile. "My name's Natsu. I'm Lucy's little brother."

Romeo looked at me. "You-you're Onee-san's little brother?"

I nodded, surprised. It's been a few years since I last heard someone call Lucy Onee-san, myself included.

Romeo started crying all over again. "She was covered in red. There were little bugs everywhere, and she wasn't breathing. The police said they could fix her, and that Onee-san was only sleeping, so why did they put her into a box? She can't wake up if they put her into a box!"

I tried to calm the boy down, but he was on a roll. "If they put Onee-san in a box, how can she keep her promise?"

I raised one of my eyebrows. "Promise?"

Wendy nodded, tears flowing like rivers down her red cheeks. "Onee-san promised us she would take us to a restaurant and we could eat as much tasty food as we could! Sh-She promised! She even pink-sweared with us!"

I couldn't look at them. Tear were falling again.

"_I will make you the largest and awesomest meat platter with beef, lamb, chicken, pork and lamb arranged as a flame ever!"_

"Yeah," I sniffled. "She made a lot of promises, didn't she?"

Not knowing what to do, I stood up and looked around. Levy had left, and Grandeeny and her husband Metalicana were busy trying to comfort my parents even though Grandeeny was still crying.

I settled it with them that I was going back home with my parents after the funeral, and I'm glad I made that choice. What I really needed were some familiar memories.


	3. Chapter 3

It's been about two days since I came home with my parents. I went straight to my room at first and completely skipped diner.

I cried myself to sleep that night. I couldn't stand how quiet it was without Lucy's rolling around and snoring.

The next day, I just stayed in my room. Thinking about Lucy.

It felt as if there was a huge hole in my heart, and nothing would ever fill it.

I found a bag of chips under my bed. I opened it and ate one. I haven't eaten in about four day, so the chip tasted like sand paper, but never the less, I ate about ten more. I then noticed a big Domo plushy sitting in the corner of my room.

I felt my eyes well up. Lucy won that at a festival and gave it to me since I couldn't go because I had a fever. I grabbed it and hugged it close to my body.

I remember her walking into my room, her cheeks still flushed from the cold. She sat on my bed and asked how I was feeling. I didn't feel so bad, so I said I was fine.

Then, she pulled the plushy she hid behind her showed it in front of me.

She grinned like a crazy person. "This is my get well present for you!"

I smiled as a single tear fell from my eye. I was inexplicably sad, but my tears seemed to have dried, so I decided to walk around instead of going to school.

So, that's what I did for the whole day. Walk around the city.

I fell into a somewhat more peaceful sleep the next night.

* * *

><p>It was on the 28th did I find something truly heart-wrenching.<p>

* * *

><p>I woke up and headed downstairs.<p>

My parents were still asleep, so I walked to the mailbox, surprised to see it crammed with mail.

I brought them inside. Most of them were cards full of condolences, and I didn't even spare them a second glance. The last thing I wanted was someone's pity.

That's when I noticed large packaged addressed to the Heartphilia family. I looked at it more closely and saw it was from the police.

I ripped it open and pulled out a sleek document. It read:

_To the Heartphilia Family,_

_We offer our condolences on the loss of your daughter Lucy. We decided it was best to tell you how she died._

_Lucy Heartphilia died of blood loss due to a severe wound she received just beneath her rib cage. This originally was resolved as a suicide, but investigators found a journal near the body. It revealed the facts that led to the notion that your daughter was murdered. _

_The events that took place in the journal matched with reality, and the killer is now in custody. His trial will take place on April 30, 2013 at 2:30pm._

_We have allowed the journal to be returned to the family._

_It is your choice to read it or not._

_Sincerely,_

_Makarov Dreyar_

_Chief of Police_

I froze. Slowly, I dropped the letter and sat down on the floor.

Lucy was murdered.

The murderer is going to trial in two days.

Lucy's journal?

When did she start to write a journal?

I picked up the package and slowly pulled out a plastic bag with a journal covered in dirt and, was that blood?

I carefully pulled out the journal, like it was made of glass. One wrong move and it would shatter into pieces.

Then, I just sat there. After twenty minutes of deciding, I slowly opened to the first page.

March 29, 2013

_I don't know why I decided to use a journal the first time for the sixteen years I've been alive. I mean, it's good since I have about fifty taking up space in the corner in my room._

_Let me restart. Uh, I guess to start I should say my name right? _

* * *

><p>I slowly closed the journal. I felt the tears falling from my face. I never knew. All of this time, I never understood how she felt.<p>

My mind quickly went back to the time back at the river.

I was annoyed because I bombed my math test. Though they didn't appear so, my parents were very strict with our grades.

I came up with a great excuse when I lost my balance and fell.

When I came to, I saw my sister. She was soaking and shivering. I noticed that we were along the river at the bottom of the hill, so I connected the pieces.

I was going to thank her. Honestly, but my test appeared in my mind again. Lucy wasn't the most social person out there, I knew that, but she also never did poorly on a test.

I got pissed and snapped. Like what she said, I really didn't notice the blood.

I put my coat over her because she wasn't wearing her vest that day and her shirt was becoming transparent.

I then stormed away angry, ditching my friends and stomping straight home.

I couldn't stop crying.

"Lucy,"

Why did I do that?

"Lucy." I cried, a little louder this time.

Was it because I thought she would always be there?

"Lucy." I slammed my fist on the floor. Not holding my voice back, I cried and bawled.

"Lucy." I wailed.

Why did you leave? Why did you leave me here, all alone?

I knew she wasn't coming back. I know that, so why was it that I hoped, even if just for a second, for Lucy to come bounding down the stairs and tell me to shut up.

Only silence replied my wish.

Soon, mom and dad came down to see what the ruckus was about. My mother pats my back while my dad reads the note. He too begins crying and hugs the two of us.

We cried for who knows how long, warm in each other's embrace, yet despite the warmth I felt from their bodies, I couldn't get rid of the cold, empty feeling I had deep in my chest.


	4. Chapter 4

I, once again, was sitting in my room.

My parents and I recently got back from the trial.

After mindless talking, the judge finally labeled the man guilty.

I almost cried "took you long enough!"

I hated sitting there, listening to the man and his lawyer try to deny the charges. He was guilty, it was written all over his face! Why can't you see that?

He the man who killed my sister! My innocent, loving, irreplaceable sister! There is no excuse! Give me my sister back, give her back!

I just glared the entire time. When the judgment was over, it took all of my willpower not to rush over and beat the crap out of the man.

Now, here I stay, sitting alone, cold and crying, recalling my whole life with Lucy.

Now, only memories are what remain of her.

**MAY 2, 2013**

I stared at the piece of paper in front of me.

It asked me to answer some calculus questions, but the numbers and letters seemed to float off the page. I couldn't concentrate.

I finally went back to school two days ago, and teachers and students alike were telling me how much Lucy will be missed.

I only glared at them. Full force, not holding any malice back. I never said anything, but I made it clear to never mention her name.

I detested them. They tried to get close to me or say how great a person Lucy was when they don't even know a single dame thing about her.

Today, I asked everyone who claimed they knew who she a question.

"If you knew my sister so well, then name one thing she always did during classes.

I got a lot of stupid answers.

No one ever said, doodling Hetalia characters in her notebook.

Every time Lucy got back from school, she would show me her drawings, whether I wanted to or not, and start saying who it was and why she drew them.

They were the worst drawings ever, but she would show them to you willingly if you only asked.

My mom was out shopping and my dad was in his study. I noticed that my dad spends more time in there and my mom spends much more time outside of the house, whether it be for shopping or visiting friends.

I heard the doorbell ring and got up to answer it.

I opened the door and a man in a red and orange polo and jeans with a big box in front of him stood there.

"I have a delivery for Mister Natsu Dragneel."

I raised one of my eyebrows. Dragneel was a nickname Lucy made up for me when I was eight.

"Yes, that's me."

The man held out the package and I gingerly took it. The faint scent of meat wafted from the box.

I put the box down and turned back to the house. "Here, let me go get some money. How much is it?"

The man quickly shook his head. "Oh no, don't worry, it's already been paid for."

Surprised, and turned back around and picked up the package.

The delivery man pulled his baseball cap down on his head and began to leave. "Well, good day sir, and happy birthday."

I almost dropped the box. "Wait, how'd you know it was my birthday?"

The delivery man looked confused. "The sender told us it was a birthday present."

My heart beat began to quicken. "Who was the sender?"

"Some woman called Lucy Heartphilia."

My mind went blank. I stood in the doorway for a couple of seconds, not moving. Unconsciously, a tear slipped from my eye.

"Are you okay sir?"

I came back to the present and wiped away the stray tear. "Huh. Oh yeah. Thank you." I pulled ten dollars from my pocket. "Here's your tip."

The delivery man nodded and left. I slowly made my way back inside and slumped against the closed door.

Carefully, I opened the package, and saw all different types of meat designed in a flame. There was also a little note next to the meat.

_Dear Natsu,_

_I figured it would be better if I could give you a present that was actually edible rather that a big lump of burnt coal._

_Happy Birthday~!_

_Love,_

_Lucy_

I covered my head with my arms, and cried. Cried with sorrow, cried from the utter loneliness, and cried with happiness.

**THE END**

**Since so many people wanted to know what happened to Natsu, here you go! Sorry it took forever, but I had exams to deal with and my parents are absolutely horrible when it comes to exam month.**

**REVIEW!**

**-BrokenWings66**


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